Writing a Eulogy

Planning a funeral is something that you never think about until you have to do it, and for me that happened at 22. To be fair it wasn't all on me, but I did feel like the rock for my Grandmother at the time. I held her hand through every step regardless of how that effected my own healing. Since then I have been learning about how to set boundaries for myself, but that's for another time.

My younger sister decided that she was going to read a poem (seen at the bottom) and so I took on the task of writing a eulogy in honor of my Pap. I sat down and tried really hard to write something special. I looked at websites and blogs searching for advice on how to get through everything that was going on. Many of them really did prove to be useful, but the internet wasn't going to be able to do the writing for me. I tried the night before, I tried the morning of and naturally part of it was just me procrastinating. Writing a eulogy is something you have to do in the middle of the pain and through all of the tears and generally you don't have enough time to anticipate it. There is never enough time.

I ended up leaving the room during a period of time during the viewing and I locked myself away in the office of the funeral home. After seeing all of my family gathered together in honor of my Pap I was finally able to write something that was deserving of him. Something that I felt was short and concise, but also described my Pap and connected with my families memories of the amazing man he was. For many that task is very hard to do, but I think I did it. So here it is...

In Honor of Raymond James Stringent

When I first sat down to think about my Pap's legacy and what he left behind for us the first thing to come to mind was his beautiful tile work. No matter where we went he always had something to point out and he'd say "I tiled that." From the highway tunnels, to the Richland Mall, a few farms and the Somerset Creamery; even this past Easter he pointed to the tiles around the fireplace at Oakhurst Tearoom and said, "That's mine." Pappy was a hard worker his whole life and many of you can see that reflected in your homes.

One of my favorite memories of growing up with my Pappy was going to Lombardo's for the chicken pastina. Everyone knew that was our favorite restaurant. Pappy was a lover of food. He was always the first to take a plate at any reunion. I know it is at these events that he will be missed the most. Even though he sometimes tried too hard to win that Crabby George Award.

Even though he was stubborn and always wanted to do things for himself he was always there to help others in need. He will be greatly missed by all, especially by my grandmother who spent thirty years by his side.

Grazie per l"affetto dimostrato

"Thank you for the affection you have shown"

After the funeral and for the days to come I had many family members talk about what an amazing job we all did planning a celebration of the life of my Pap. If I had to relive that day there is not a single thing I would change. The eulogy, my sisters poems, the songs we sang, and the releasing of the balloons. Everything was perfect.

The amazing thing is that the words I wrote about my Pap may not make sense to a stranger, and they don't need to, but I was able to connect to everyone there on a personal level. It was last minute and rushed but it is exactly what I needed, what my family needed, and what I truly believe my Pap would have wanted.

Thank you.